If you are familiar at all with me, you know that I am a ‘planner’. I know the next 10 steps (or at least I like to think I do). I think ahead. I see what’s coming down the road and I try to prepare for it. That’s who I am – a planner to the very core.
God likes to challenge us doesn’t he? He takes those things at our core, things that we often find some of our identity in, and he pushes on them. He builds our trust in Him by stripping away what we see as our ‘strengths’.
I walked into the year 2018 with a lot of fear and feelings of uncertainty. Five months in and I still have no idea what this year will bring. I can’t see 10 steps down the road. I can’t even see the next step all the time. And that has been incredibly hard for this ‘planner’. I feel like I regularly have to fight against panic. It’s not easy or simple. It’s often exhausting.
But as God is pushing on these parts of me, he is also providing who and what I need to grow through the uncertainty and lean into the faithfulness of my God. Let me share those people and blessings that I am leaning on and learning from. 1) Ben and Megan Craig and Gabby Sanfilippo – my teammates here. They have been such good good gifts from the Father. Every time they heard me say ‘I have no idea what this year holds’, they were/are faithful to remind me that ‘God knows what is coming’. And not only does He know, he’s planned each part of my future for my good and His ultimate glory. 2) Another one of my wonderfully good gifts is Eddie. He is patient and kind, even in my panic. He is the calm in my storm. The steady in my unsteady. I am looking forward to see how God works in and through both of us in the coming months and, Lord willing, years! 3) I have been reading through the Psalms in my personal devotions for a while and recently re-read through one of my favourite Psalms again.
Psalm 62:5-8, “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.”
There is life in those words. I am thankful for the lessons I have been learning this year. It hasn’t always been fun, but the Lord has continued to show himself faithful and steadfast.
Changing gears a little bit, I wanted to make sure I added a ministry update as well, since it has been so very long since my last one. My apologies.
I began my third year of teaching here at JCA in January and I have jumped from Grade 3 to Grade 1! It was a massive transition! I honestly felt like a new teacher all over again, but I am finally starting to feel like I have my feet under me again. I am really enjoying this new change of pace and I am loving my cute little kids this year! It’s exciting to be able to teach small ones to read and grow, and it’s hard to believe that we are almost halfway done with our school year.
I have only students from the community this year, as Bethesda only cares for one Grade 1 child and he was placed in the other Grade 1 classroom. It has been such a joy to be able to work with these children and help them grow in their knowledge of their Creator and the Gospel. Please be praying for their hearts to be soft and open to hearing the truth. They are so young and have so much to learn. Pray that God changes their hearts even at such a young age. You can also remember me in prayer in this season of uncertainty. Pray that I would continue to remind myself that my steps have already been ordered and that my job now is to trust and obey the directions of the Lord. I thank God for each of you and the support you so freely give me through prayer and encouragement. Love from RSA.